The Border Crossing From Hell

Today was certainly an experience. Started out pretty much like every other day, and I guess ended up like every other day (with one notable exception), but oh those in betweens. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad that we went through it, and we certainly enjoyed our day on the other side, but if I had of known then what I know now, well, we would likely already be on the coast. Yet, here we are at the La Casa de Don David just outside of Tikal, Guatemala.

With a little bit of advance notice of what to expect, courtesy our friendly hotelier, we headed out for the border around 8:30. Everything went smoothly to start, we pulled up to the parking area and were approached by the “facilitators” who would guide us through the process (in effect they are money exchangers, they help you out and you get your Guatemalan “quesidias” from them (actually called quetzals). About 7:1 to the Belizean dollar, which is 2:1 to the US dollar. So, the exchange is 100 Q is $7.20 US.

Belize Border

Step 1 – exchange the money with the facilitators. Screw up one travelers cheque by signing in the wrong place. They won’t accept it so do another.

Step 2 – fill out a client satisfaction survey talking about the crossing experience when entering Belize. Now what kind of dim wit would you be to say anything that wasn’t wonderful as you still had three stages to go through?

Step 3 – pay the Belizean exit tax of $37.50 BD each to leave the country. “Yes sir, you will have to pay it again when you leave again in three days”.

Step 4 – Go to immigration and get your passport stamped. This was good, no questions, no money, and 30 seconds maybe.

Step 5 – Be told by immigration that I have to go to customs and get my rental car registration straight. Get to customs and have the sweet young thing reviewing your documents look up and say “you only have permission to go as far as Belize City sir, you are not allowed to be here! “ . WT… Calm on the outside but somewhat annoyed on the inside I told her “we told her exactly what we are doing, going to Belize City, then Guatemala, to Placentia then back up the coast to Mexico. I have no idea why she stamped it Belize City”. After staring me down for a minute she said, OK”. Mary Lou and I looked at each other and said in unison. “are we going to have problems getting back across the border.” Don't worry, “I’ll be here”. Somehow that doesn’t give me a warm and fuzzy.

Step 6 – back into the car and we head to the check point feeling pretty good, then the border guard says “they did not stamp you car pass as out of country, you must have that”. Yeah. Again, with my best puppy dog face, explained my last conversation. “ Hmmm, OK. If they say so. Have a nice trip”

So we were across the border. Oh. Crap. Not really. We were just out of Belize. Now we had to get into Guatemala.

Total cost for Belizian border was $37.50 US.

Guatemala Border

Step 1 - Arrive at border and get waved over by young fellow not wearing a uniform. We pay $20 QS for spray as we crossed.

Step 2 – got stopped, then waved through gate by latin version of Joe Bob after we paid fee.

Step 3 – young guy waves us over after moving a bus out of the way. This is when I knew we had a Guatemalan facilitator. Did not mind though as the customs were crowded and we had no clue what to do.

Spotted first guy with short stock shot gun wearing a belt of 12 gauge shells guarding the cashier for the border. On the other end of the terminal were several militia carrying AK 47’s. Gave me that good ole down home feeling.

Step 4 – young guy, lets call him Juan, leads me to the shortest line, guess that is because we were coming in and the rest of the 100 odd people in the other line were leaving. Moved through this and got our passports stamped in a few minutes, and it cost $20 QS each. Oh yeah, forgot to tell you, Juan speaks no English, and I mean NO ENGLISH. Great guy to have as a translator.

Step 4 – Juan leads us over to another line, which I knew was for the car. At this point, another facilitator named Franklin(he likes to say he was named after Franklin Rooselvelt), who was watching came over and said Juan did not know what he was doing (Heard Roosevelt calling me a gringo to Juan). We had to get photo copies of license, passport, registration, rental agreement before they will serve us. “ You can stand there for ten minutes to wait and hear from the border guard what I am telling you, or you can come with me now”. I asked him to tell Juan that.

Step 5 – around the corner we go to get photocopies. This takes five more minutes, and costs $3.50 QS.

Step 6 – we give my passport (as I am the driver) the rental agreement, and all the copies to the guard. They were required, thank you Franklin. After saying we don’t have this, or we don’t have that, and Franklin saying yes you do, he handed us the papers and said in Spanish, go to the cashier. AK 47 guy followed us to the bank line. Another $20 QS for the car.

It is at this point it dawns on me there is a battle going on between Juan and Franklin, and we would have to shell out two tips. Mary Lou and I decided we would give them one and they could duke it out for a split. Great plan.

Step 7 – pay the cashier the car fee and he says, "welcome to Guatemala". Ah, done. Wrong again.

Step 8 – back to the guard that gave us the car permit, who looked at the receipt, then gave us two pieces of paper and muttered a long set of instructions in Spanish. Thank god for Franklin. Summary...don’t lose the two papers or you will be here all day on the way back.

Step 9 – I give Juan $20 QS and said to Franklin that you guys work out the split. Juan bolted out of there and I turned to Franklin and said “ he’s not giving you any of that is he”. So I handed Franklin $10 QS , shook his hand and said thanks and so long.

Step 10 – Let out of the gate by AK 47 toting guard, and immediately was hit for $ 30 QSD toll.

Finally we were on our way. After being a bit ticked about being fleeced, I did the math and figured with all fees and tips in, the crossing in Guatemala only cost $ 8.57 USD and took about 45 minutes. The money I spent on Juan and Franklin was well worth it. So all in all, we drove on happy.


There are only two paved roads in Guatemala, according to the guide book a few years old. We were on one of them, well mostly. The first ten km were dirt road, and quite rutted in many places. Just about when we figured that little Chevy was going to fall apart, we hit the new pavement construction. They were doing a good job, however, let’s say that their onsite safety leaves a bit to be desired. At one point we had to get right over the shoulder and were within inches of dropping to the ditch when two graders in tandem took the entire road and would not budge. The rest of the way we weaved and bobbed between lanes and construction equipment, but made it safely.

Once we were on the paved sections things went quickly, with the exception of the two herds of cattle that stopped us dead in the water. The 80 km drive to Tikal took an hour and half.

We were very happy seeing the hotel and it turned out to be a funky little spot set on a large lake. The room was large, clean with two double beds and the standard two geckos which seem to come with every room, and cost only $53 including breakfast. We checked in, got the bags to the room and immediately headed to the lake as it was 100 degrees and humid. A quick dip off the end of the wharf then we were ready for the drive to Flores.

We had been told by several people that Guatemala was a much poorer country then Belize, however, we didn’t see that. On the drive to Flores, even in the shanty type towns the school children we passed on the road were all immaculately dressed and groomed, with no old or worn clothing like Belize. A very handsome people all in all. One noticeable difference was the cost of things. Guatemala is a fraction of the price, and seems to be the place to shop between the three countries so far.

OK. Thats it for now, more tonight. I am sitting eating dry toast for breakfast back in Belize recovering from a duel with Montezuma last night. Hit hard as I was writing this and could not finish. On the plus side, pretty sure I achieved my weight loss goals for the entire trip in a single sleepless night.

We got to our hotel in Tikal, quickly checked in and went for a dip in the lake, as it was stifling hot, then headed out to Flores. About half an hour we came into the City and were surprised that it looked like any other North American city: shopping mall development, Pizza Hut, Texaco, etc. The village of Flores was on an island accessible on a one lane bridge. It reminded me of a European city, cobble stone streets, concrete buildings, bright and colorful walls.

We stopped st a few small shops selling a variety of items run by a couple of Mayan women, one of whom had to be the tinyest person I had seen. Maybe 4' 6" and 70 lbs. She talked constantly in flawless, continuous and monotonistic voice " Pretty blouse for the lady...presents for your family...what is your name...I do a good deal just for you...you very handsome man (just kidding with that last one)." We ended up buying some trinkets for Mary Lou's staff, and a couple of pairs of beach pants for me (dirt cheap). After a meal on the waterfront we headed back to Tikal, and another swim.

When we got back to the hotel, Mary was approached by two young locals selling more trinkets. I watched with great amusement as she brow beat them down to about half what they originally wanted.


After another swim we had an average supper of rice, chicken and carrots then headed back to the room for what turned out to be a heated battle with Montezuma.

I was down for the count 15 minutes after this picture.